THE SOUL KNOWS by Paige Loveless
Writing isn’t usually too difficult for me. However, this letter has been a long time coming as I’ve found the thought of writing about Bill in the past tense to be difficult. Many of you reading this either knew Bill personally or through phone conversations or Zoom meetings—or maybe just through his writing or videos. I’m glad you had the chance to know him (and vice versa) in whatever way it was.
Bill thankfully did not end up where he began. I recall several years of superficial acquaintance with him while we were 20-something. He was loud and gregarious, confident and successful. I remember being impressed with his proficiencies in riding a horse, handling firearms, dancing and telling good jokes. In addition, he drove a Beretta, owned a beautiful home and possessed 30-yard line season tickets to Aggie football games. His main ambition in those days was to be a millionaire by the time he was 35.
Thankfully, God spoiled his script. Most of you have heard the rest of the story. Though it was painful to be divested of all the things he thought really mattered, it was necessary in order to have “The Life” Bill could never have imagined for himself. Of course he continued to be loud and gregarious and could be a bull in a china shop at times with his enthusiasm to see that everyone in his periphery knew the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation or as their Source for living life!
I was the one close enough to see the slow progression of transformation in Bill’s life over the years. There were changes in the ways he thought, spoke and related to others. I think he had a gift for attracting people to God, making Him apparent as the warm and approachable Person He is. I can’t think of anyone Bill was trying to help, that he gave up on. If he couldn’t be the one to help, he found someone who could. And he never gave up on himself either. When he made mistakes, he acknowledged them, learned from them, got up and kept going.
Bill had a way of making friends everywhere he went—really good friends. And now so many of them are my friends. I sometimes wonder where I would be without them as they are such a comfort and help to me since losing him. They are treasured gifts from God and Bill.
I’m so happy to tell you that Bill lived what he taught and continued to do so to the very end. He had complete confidence in God and therefore had no fear when he received news there was no hope of getting well. To the end, there was only peacefulness, gratitude and even humor. He never once complained or questioned God. It would be important to Bill that all of you know this: Christ continues to impart His life and power and grace in dying just as He does for us in living. I’ve heard there is something called “dying grace.” I believe it because I’ve seen it. It would take a lot of space to write about the many provisions and blessings we experienced in his final weeks.
I ran across a quote a few months ago (but can’t remember where or by whom): “The soul knows a glory the body can not rob.” Bill’s soul knew Glory in dying—and it was a glorious thing to behold.
