Dear ministry family,
I first want to apologize that I cannot contact each of your personally rather than sending this email but I think you will understand why when I share with you our latest news. In the last few weeks I had been feeling increasing pain in my stomach area. A week ago, Sunday night, it was painful enough we went to the ER the next morning. In light of my symptoms, they decided to do a CAT scan. We did not think it was that serious until we heard the diagnosis of pancreatic and liver cancer. We have waited to write you before now because we needed to hear the confirming diagnosis from our oncologist yesterday. We know some would call this diagnosis life threatening but through what I am about to share with you about what the Lord is doing it has been nothing but LIFE giving.Needless, to say it was not what we wanted to hear but what has followed since that diagnosis is beyond words. I will let Paige share her side of the story when she is ready but I want to share with you some of the amazing things the Lord has revealed to me in these last 10 days. Let me start with sharing you the back story.
I had been praying three weeks prior to my diagnosis that I was feeling flat-lined in my relationship with the Lord, with Paige and the ministry. I knew in my heart that I needed to enter a new level of living in a deeper relationship of intimacy and oneness with the Lord. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I knew a change had to come. Little did I know the diagnosis would be the answer to my prayers. In fact, the diagnosis became the key to unlock the door of the new realm I am now living. Immediately upon hearing this diagnosis I walked through this door little knowing what awaited me on the other side. I have entered into a new realm of His presence, His love and His grace. God wrapped Paige and me in His sovereign loving arms. I am experiencing the height, length and depth of God’s love in ways that have been unimaginable before. All the things I have been teaching have become a living, breathing 3D reality like I never experienced before. The Lord and I have been in non-stop communion and every day His presence, love, mercy and comfort continue to fill my soul. I truly can’t put into words what the Lord is revealing but I have never experienced such a deep awareness of His presence.
The Lord has given me many visuals over the past 10 days but one of the sweetest was that He and I were walking together and He looked over at me and said, “Bill, if this doesn’t concern me, why should it concern you?” In that moment, I was filled and continue to be filled with perfect peace.
Some may think my responses to the Lord are as a result of my faith but I know clearly this has nothing to do with my faith. Rather, it has everything to do with His faithfulness that is holding us, gripping us and wrapping us in His arms. I have taught about God’s faithfulness but I never thought I would have such an experiential understanding than I do now.
The Lord asked me a few days ago if I would go back to where I was before the diagnosis and I said, “No” because there is no going back nor a desire to go back because it is through this ordeal I am experiencing the Lord in new, amazing and supernatural ways. I feel like Elisha’s servant who couldn’t see the chariots of fire on the mountain until Elisha prayed for his eyes to be opened. But now I see. And what I see is beyond words.
Every day has been a day of anticipation of what the Lord is going to reveal about Himself. I will be honest with you, I have never been more alive than I am now.
We know this is a shock for you because we would feel the same way if you were writing this email to us. However, Paige and I want you to be encouraged because are seeing the goodness of God like never before. Therefore, we pray this email will be an invitation from the Lord to enter into a deeper and more personal relationship with Him. He wants to take you deeper and if you say, “yes” He will reveal to you His glory and His essence in ways you can’t begin to imagine..
So three things I would ask of you, continue loving us, pray for us but most importantly live every moment to the fullest because Paige and I are choosing to live LIFE like we never have before.
Please know you are dearly loved by Paige and me and we can’t imagine this this season of life without your love.
Bill Loveless
